Divorce Mediation Explained: What to Expect in Torrington, CT

You may have heard that divorce mediation can take a lot of the pain and conflict out of ending your marriage. If you are considering mediation as an alternative to traditional litigation, here’s what to expect from the process and your mediator along the way.

The Advantages of Mediation in Divorce Cases

Private divorce mediation is a voluntary, out-of-court process that many Connecticut couples use to resolve their issues, and reach an agreement for a divorce, custody arrangement, or other family-related issues. A form of alternative dispute resolution, it gives couples an option for ending their marriage that doesn’t involve court hearings or extended adversarial litigation. Divorce mediation offers several advantages to traditional divorce litigation including:

• Maintaining control over the outcome – In mediation, you and your spouse make the decisions, so you have more control over what happens.
• Taking advantage of flexibility – The parties in a divorce mediation aren’t limited by court schedules, so you can set the pace for your mediation, giving you time to process what is happening, and the emotions those actions cause.
• Avoiding time in court – A mediated divorce can be entered with a single court hearing, often held virtually, instead of repeated visits to the courthouse.
• Keeping your affairs private – What is discussed in mediation is entirely confidential. In comparison, while the contents of court filings in divorce cases are not available for public viewing, the record of filings such as motions, etc., is.
• Resolving issues more quickly – Often, mediation can be completed in less time than traditional divorce litigation, helping you move on from an unhealthy relationship faster.
• Reaching mutually beneficial resolutions – Unlike litigation, there are no winners and losers in mediation. Instead, the focus is on empowering couples to find a mutually beneficial compromise that addresses everyone’s needs.
• Improving Co-Parent Communication – Mediation gives parents a clear demonstration of the conflict dispute resolution skills they will need to co-parent effectively. Using mediation as a model and as a tool to resolve post-judgment disputes, you can improve your ability to work together for your children’s best interests.
• Avoiding repeat litigation – mediation settlements are generally more sustainable than judges’ decisions since you and your spouse have not only agreed to them, but have fully thought them through without the added pressure of court deadlines. That means they don’t require as many enforcement proceedings.

However, mediation isn’t the right solution for every case. It requires both spouses to set aside their desire to be “right” or to “have their day in court” in favor of reaching a resolution. Often it depends on an increased level of transparency and cooperation than the traditional adversarial divorce process. The higher the conflict between you and your spouse, the less likely you are to be able to resolve your differences without the help of a family court judge.

What is the Job of a Divorce Mediator?

If you and your spouse opt for mediation over litigation, you will need to hire a divorce mediator to help you. The divorce mediator’s job is to act as a neutral third party and facilitator to help couples more clearly communicate and resolve differences involving anything from child custody to personal property.

In interest-based mediation, the divorce mediator does not make decisions or even recommendations about the outcome of the case. Instead, they make sure all the necessary issues have been discussed and any conflict resolved and facilitate the parties’ discussion as they work toward an agreement. You can also engage in evaluative mediation. There, the mediator goes a step further, providing the couple his or her opinion or suggesting outcomes he or she thinks are best. While non-attorneys can mediate, it is highly recommended that you choose a mediator who also tries divorce cases in court. We are better positioned to help the parties understand what a judge could decide if their case went to court.

What to Expect in a Connecticut Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation in Connecticut private. Usually, just the parties and the mediator attend. The process typically begins with an introductory meeting, where the divorce mediator explains the ground rules, and each person’s part in the process. Next, you and your spouse will be invited to explain your goals, priorities, and individual concerns. Your mediator will help you identify where you and your spouse have common ground, what issues still need to be sorted through, and if there are any topics that have been missed along the way.

With the issues set out, the mediator will help you and your spouse brainstorm solutions and work through any concerns. Both parties have the right, but not the obligation to retain their own “review counsel” to offer advice and comments on the developing agreement. Once you and your spouse reach an agreement, your mediator will document the terms of that settlement, either in a recording or a written settlement agreement. This may happen all at once at the end of the mediation, or you may enter partial agreements on different issues as the mediation progresses.

Do You Need a Lawyer for Divorce Mediation?

While each spouse is entitled to hire his or her own attorney, those attorneys usually do not attend the actual mediation. Instead, they provide support, advice, and guidance between sessions. Whether either party needs a lawyer for divorce mediation depends on the qualifications of your divorce mediator. It is a good idea to hire a mediator who is a licensed Connecticut attorney. While non-lawyers can facilitate mediation, they cannot prepare court documents for filing. If you work with a non-attorney mediator, you eventually have to choose whether to hire a lawyer to prepare and file the final paperwork with the court after the agreement is reached, or do it yourself (not recommended).

Get Help from a Divorce Mediation Attorney Near You

The divorce mediation attorneys at Lawrence & Jurkiewicz practice in Torrington, Connecticut, help people like you dissolve their marriages with respect, privacy, and cooperation. Please contact our family law attorneys today online or at 860-264-1551 to schedule a confidential consultation to see how we can help you.